If He Hollers, Let Him Go
by GoesKaboom
Summary: Sometimes, when faced with their imminent death, one will try the most drastic thing they can think of to escape. Ciel is not an exception. Three-shot.
1. Chapter 1

If He Hollers, Let Him Go

_Note: I do not own Kuroshitsuji- if I did, that crazy-ass angel would have been left out of the anime since it scared the living crud out of me. Unfortunately, I don't own it, so we'll just have to suffer with scary angels. _

_**Warnings: gore and violence. **_

Chapter One of Three

When one faces their imminent death, one either tends to resort to drastic measures to escape it, or goes rather crazy. Certainly Ciel felt this as he awaited his destruction. Any moment now, his butler was going to eat his soul, and that would be that. No more existence. But while most people would feel terrified, horrified, desperate, Ciel only felt something similar to the onset of psychosis. His mind was strangely blank, with the exception of one thing, It was so strange- the only thing Ciel could think about was an old children's rhyme that he and Lizzie had used to settle disputes. He hadn't thought of it in years, but nevertheless, it was in his mind.

_Eenie meenie miney mo_

Well, young master," the demon spoke. Or at least, Ciel _thought_ he spoke. In his current state, he could not be sure of anything. "This might hurt some, but I will try to be gentle."

_Catch a tiger by the toe_

Ciel did not respond. How does one even respond to the knowledge that their end was going to be painful? "Young master?" Ciel vaguely realized that Sebastian was speaking to him again, but continued to pointedly ignore him, practically screaming the rhyme in his head. "Young master? Can you hear me?"

_ If he hollers, let him go_

"Seb...astian," Ciel finally choked out his butler's name. This caused the demon to regard him curiously.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he asked. Ciel had to fight back the urge to laugh maniacally. Even when he was about to devour his soul, that demon was still looking out for the wishes and desires of his young master. It would have been almost comical if Ciel hadn't been about to die.

_If he hollers, let him go_

"...go," Ciel mumbled.

"I'm sorry?" Sebastian asked politely. "I cannot say that I caught what you said."

"If he hollers, let him go," Ciel muttered to himself. "If he hollers, let him go." Sebastian regarded the boy who was about to become his dinner with a measure of interest. In his thousands of years of existence, he had eaten many souls. But in all those years of eating, in all of the meals he had made of those who had contracted to him, he had never seen one meet their end in the way Ciel did. Sometimes, his meal fought back violently, doing their damnedest to postpone the inevitable. Other times, they would meet their end with sorrow, crying out to whatever merciless god that they believed in to save them. Occasionally, the person would just accept their fate peacefully, remaining completely still until Sebastian had finished devouring them. Once, an old woman had cursed Sebastian with her dying breath, telling him that one day he would meet the person who would escape from him. Yes, within his life, Sebastian had seen many different ends to the lives of his charges. But, he could honestly say that he had never seen someone lose their sanity completely before he ate their soul. Snapping out of his thoughts, Sebastian looked over at Ciel, who was rocking back and forth, muttering to himself.

Briefly, Sebastian wondered if the loss of sanity would affect the taste of the soul. But first, he had to make sure that Ciel would be comfortable, or at least as comfortable as possible. He was a demon with some standards, after all. He would attend to his charge until the very end. "Young master? Do you have any requests?"

"Yes," Ciel replied. "If he hollers, let him go."

"Let who go, young master?" Sebastian was beginning to get impatient. He was _hungry,_ and he didn't want to listen to the ramblings of a lunatic. Ciel finally gave into temptation and laughed. The sound was so unnerving that even the demon from the pits of hell was bothered by it. It was at that moment that Sebastian thought that Ciel had finally, completely and truly, snapped. It would just be better to end it now and put that boy's soul out of its tormented misery.

"Eenie meenie miney mo," Ciel recited, laughing crazily the whole time. "Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. My mother told me to choose the best one, and you are not it!"

"Young master, you're out of your mind," Sebastian said patiently. "If you'll just sit down and stay quiet I promise you that I can make whatever is bothering you go away. I can end your pain. But I need you to stay calm." Ciel smirked.

"I'm not going to fall for that," he said, his lucidity surprising the demon. "I'm quite sane. And didn't you hear me? You are not... you are not it." Sebastian blinked. Well, this certainly was a day for firsts. He'd never had a meal go insane on him before, and he'd never seen an insane person deny his or her insanity in such a clear way before. Ciel just let out another unnatural laugh.

"If he hollers let him go," he repeated. With a final crazed laughed, he removed the eyepatch from his sealed eye. Once he had completed that, he reached up without hesitation and plucked the lavender eye from its socket. Sebastian watched in mild revulsion as the blood dripped from the empty socket onto the ground. Truly, there was nothing more horrifying than a human face without eyes. Ciel calmly flicked the eyeball at his butler before turning on his heel and running as fast as he could.

"You are not it!" Sebastian heard the boy call as he ran.

To Be Continued

Author's Comments:

I'm still traveling, but this idea would not leave me alone. So I decided to type up the first part, and hopefully my mind will be at ease now.

Lately I've really been enjoying reading _Kuroshitsuji_, and I did watch the anime, although I was rather disappointed with it. As I said in the disclaimer, I hated that damn angel. He/she/it was _disturbing. _Anyway, I really wanted to write this, but it is a pretty far departure from my usual writing style. I almost never write anything this dark, unless I'm in one hell of a bad mood, and then I never publish it.

Well, thanks for reading.

-Kaboom


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two of Three

Sebastian watched calmly as Ciel ran. Again, his young master never failed to surprise him. Removing his own eye? Sebastian could honestly say that he had never seen someone go that far to escape him. Too bad for Ciel that it was useless. He might have removed the eye with the seal, but Sebastian still had his hand. And even if his hand and the eye were removed, the contract was still binding. Ciel would never be able to be free, no matter how hard he tried to flee.

So Sebastian let him run. Let him think that he had bested a demon. He could run all he wanted, but he never would be able to actually escape. It was only a matter of time before he would trip up, and then, Sebastian would swoop in and claim what was his.

* * *

Ciel was not naïve. He knew that eventually, Sebastian would find him. When that would happen, he didn't know, but Ciel did realize that he would need to decide what he would do when that time would come. Would he fight Sebastian off with whatever strength he had? Would he simply surrender himself to the demon? Or... as much as he didn't want to think of this final option, if he killed himself, the demon would not manage to get his soul. As distasteful as it seemed, Ciel knew his best option of escape would be to end his own life.

To be honest, Ciel did not know why he was attempting to escape his end. After all, he did not have that much to live for. His family was dead. He had killed the people responsible for their deaths. He had no one left, other than Sebastian, and that was no comfort, considering that the demon was hungry, and Ciel was on the menu.

"Are you lost, child?" Ciel was startled out of his thoughts by a woman's voice. Vaugely he became aware of his surroundings. He had been sitting on a bench in central London, and he couldn't remember how he got there. He remembered breaking free from the demon's grasp just outside the townhouse- had he run this far only to sit down?

"Are you alright?" he realized belatedly that the woman was still standing there.

"Yes," Ciel muttered, not looking at her, hoping she would go away.

"Well, you're covered in blood!" the woman responded. "Are you sure you don't need any help?" Ciel realized that he must look like something out of a nightmare. Plucking out one's own eye was a messy business, and although the wound had stopped bleeding, he realized that the blood that stained his clothes would not have magically disappeared.

"No, I'm alright," Ciel reassured her. "I just had a minor accident. I'll be fine." The woman didn't look convinced, but went on her way. Ciel breathed a sigh of relief- she would be out of the way when Sebastian showed up. It wasn't as though he cared about her well-being. He just didn't want anyone to see his end. And he knew it was coming, one way or another. His minutes were numbered. By now he was certain that the demon would have located him and was on his way now. Maybe he could run again, but for how long? A wounded boy could not be considered any match for a demon.

Still, he hadn't come this far to turn around and give up. Sebastian might get to eat his soul, but he wasn't going to get it without a fight.

"Young master, you never fail to amaze me." Ciel's blood froze. Already? "I never thought that you would actually go so far as to remove your own eye." Sebastian's voice was doting, but his eyes were cold. "After all the time we've spent together, you're going to run away? A gentleman always keeps his word, young master, and I held up my end of the bargain. What about you?"

"Impressive," Ciel replied, ignoring the question. "You found me even though I no longer had the seal on my body. I guess that is to be expected from you, though." Sebastian smirked.

"Of course. I told you I'd be there until the end, young master."

"And you never lie," Ciel finished. The demon nodded.

"I do not lie," he confirmed. "But you had to have known that the end would come eventually, right? I upheld my part of the contract. Your family has been avenged. Now are you going to keep your promise?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really."

"Then," Ciel said. "What are you waiting for? Take it. You caught me." As he said these words, he fingered a small knife he had hidden in his pocket. When the demon leaned in to take his soul, he would jam the blade into his throat, killing himself. Ciel wasn't going to give up his soul that easily. Sebastian just laughed.

"But that won't do at all," he chirped. "You ran away. I don't think you understand. You even poked out your own eye to get away from me, and now you're telling me to just take your soul? Do you think I am a fool? Right after you tricked me, do you think I would take you at your word?"

"So you don't want my soul, then." Ciel was suspicious.

"It's not as though I don't want your soul," Sebastian replied. "In fact, quite the opposite. Your little stunt only served to increase my interest in acquiring it. But, right now my hunger for answers outweighs the hunger for your soul. What made you do it?"

"What do you mean?" Ciel asked.

"What I mean was that you always seemed so accepting as to your life's final destination. What made you change enough to drive you to run away?"

"I cannot answer that," Ciel replied coldly. Sebastian smirked.

"I thought you'd say that, young master," he said, almost mockingly. "No matter. I will learn the reason in due time. But I do ask this- are you going to run again?"

"No," Ciel replied, honestly.

"Good."

To Be Completed

Author's Comments:

Before anyone asks, yes, I have seen the anime, and yes, I do know what happens to Sebastian. For the purposes of this story, we're going to ignore that fact.

Anyway, I regret to tell readers that due to some very complicated circumstances, I am taking a hiatus. I don't really _want_ to do so, but until the family emergency requiring the hiatus is resolved, it's necessary. I don't really have the mental stamina at the moment to continuously write. I don't know if I will need to travel, and I don't really know what exactly is going to happen because of this. Be aware that I am _not_ dropping this, and the final part will be posted. When exactly is still up in the air. It could be two weeks from now, it could be October, or it could be after New Year depending on how long the issue takes to get resolved. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience.

-GoesKaboom


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three of Three

Ciel was out of ideas. Mutilating himself had failed to throw the demon off. He was out of body parts to destroy that would give him an advantage to get away. And if what had already happened was any indication, any lead he managed to gain would be next to worthless since the demon would catch up to him quite quickly. But the game wasn't over yet. Ciel had one last hope. If he killed himself before Sebastian could get his soul, would he be free from the demon?

"I know what you're planning, young master," Sebastian said patronizingly, his eyes fixed on Ciel's pocket. "I know what you're hiding from me. You have a little knife. How cute. You honestly think that if you killed yourself you'd get away? You know I promised that I would be with you until the end. I won't let you end your own life- that privilege is mine alone." Ciel started.

"H-how did you-"

"Don't play stupid," Sebastian snapped. "I could sense it- you're so tense. I could almost see your thought process." It was at that point that Ciel realized that anything he did was futile. He had signed his own death warrant the day he contracted with the demon. No point in fighting it now, especially now that he knew the outcome would be the same no matter what.

"If you're going to take my soul, hurry up and do it," he sighed. He could already feel his fear-induced psychosis creeping back up on him. His thoughts were already turning from the calm contemplation of the end he had experienced moments ago to the fuzzy half-thoughts that had pervaded his mind earlier. Sebastian nodded.

"All in due time, young master," he replied. "Just try to stay calm or it will hurt much more than it needs to."

_If he hollers, let him go. _

"If it would help," Sebastian suggested, "you could always close your eyes." Ciel yielded, furiously trying to think of a way to postpone this, or even to make the pain less. _Was _there even anything he could do? Probably not. He had bought himself a few short minutes, that was it. Now, his time was up. Closing his eyes, Ciel braced himself. Sebastian had never told him what taking his soul would entail, and to be honest, he was absolutely terrified.

_If he hollers, let him go. _

Would it be over quickl with a sharp, stabbing pain? Would it drag out with a dull ache? Or would he be in horrific pain the whole time? Ciel hoped it was the first one. No reason to drag it out, he thought, but then again, Sebastian was a demon. His kind thrived on the pain and suffering of humans. Ciel briefly wondered- if he screamed, would it make his soul taste better to his butler?

"What are you thinking about?" the demon asked. Ciel could _hear_ the smirk in his voice without having to open his eyes. "Are you thinking about how you will die?"

"Does it matter to you?" Ciel replied, trying his best to keep his dignity. He would rather have his soul taken a thousand times over than admit to the demon how scared he actually was.

"Yes." Ciel felt the demon's warm breath on the shell of his ear. He shuddered, hating the proximity. "I don't want you to be afraid. You knew the result when you signed the contract with me. And you should be happy that I will be ending your existence. Since I'll eat you, you won't be going to heaven or hell. And I can honestly say that with your deeds in this life, you would not be going to heaven. Young master, you're corrupt. Your soul was twisted before you met me. Try to stay calm, and this will go smoothly." Ciel shuddered, but nodded.

Suddenly, he felt as though a leech had attached itself to the sensitive skin behind his ear-lobe. He gasped quietly. It wasn't exactly an unpleasant feeling, but it felt different, as though whatever it was, was draining his energy.

"I'm just immobilizing you," Sebastian explained when he heard Ciel gasp. "It will be much easier for both of us if you can't thrash around." The pressure left his neck, and he realized in horror that he could not move, not even a little bit. "Very good," Sebastian praised. This time, he dragged two fingers over Ciel's neck. The pain was excruciating, and Ciel thought he felt blood dripping from the places the demon's fingers touched. He tried to scream, but he was unable to even open his mouth.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Sebastian's voice seemed to be fading in and out. "I'm sorry. But that's just how it works. I have to create a way into your body so I can draw the soul out." Ciel felt his conciousness leaving him as a hand poked into the wounds on his neck. The last thing he felt before he succumbed to the darkness was his own blood spattering his clothes and face, and it reminded him of that old children's rhyme. With his last bit of awareness, Ciel managed to think one final thing.

"If he hollers, let him go. My mother told me to choose the best one, and this was not it."

End

Author's Really Confusing Comments-

What a depressing way to end my temporary hiatus.

To be completely honest, though, I'm proud of this piece. It's very rare that I write anything this dark, and even rarer that I publish it. I wrote this mainly for myself, so I understand if other people don't like it very much. I know D (my beta-reader and friend) was really depressed by this, and kept asking me, "Why didn't you let Ciel live?" The reason is- I cannot see Sebastian sparing him. He is a demon, after all, and demons do not have to show compassion or have second thoughts about anything. Ciel was Sebastian's pet project- a project to create the most delicious soul that he could have. In the end, Ciel's struggle to survive only served as entertainment for the demon.

Yes, I realize these comments probably make no sense. I apologize for that.

-Kaboom


End file.
